The Road of Happy Destiny

The Importance of Identification

2010-11-01T20:08:00.000-07:00

“I am an alcoholic.” I mumbled those words at my first AA meeting, not fully realizing what they meant or even why I said them. I said simply because everyone else did; I didn’t want to embarrass myself. I didn’t stay sober after that first meeting, as I was there just to get my court card signed for a DWI. I did not have an honest desire to stop drinking.

That was in 2007. Three years later and with some time sober, I understand the importance of identification. Having “fully conceded,” I believe deep down in my heart that I am an alcoholic. For me, that means I will never be able to drink successfully again. No matter how much my mind tells me it will be different, I cannot drink safe...without dire consequences. The difference between now and 2007 is I know how to treat my alcoholism, by building a relationship with a Higher Power.

In most of my meetings, we go around the room at the beginning and introduce ourselves. By hearing someone say their name and “I am an alcoholic,” I am immediately connected to that person. We both share a common ailment. I understand and can appreciate that person’s history, thinking, and behavior. Not until recently did this concept strike me: by identifying in front of my fellows as an alcoholic, I am taking a step one of sorts. No matter how long I am sober, I still have the disease of alcoholism. Simply the fact that I am an alcoholic connects me to anyone, anywhere in the world. Like the Big Book says, “the feeling of having shared in a common peril is one element in the powerful cement which bind us.”

Hazelden publishes working manuscript of the Big Book

2010-10-05T13:33:00.000-07:00

On October 1 2010, Hazelden Publishing released The Book That Started It All: The Original Working Manuscript of Alcoholics Anonymous. For $65 directly from Hazelden Publishing or a mere $35 from Amazon.com, you get a 248 page hardback copy of the working manuscript with original notes in four different colors. The book also includes an introduction and comments from AA historians.

Images property of Hazelden Publishing. Click to enlarge.

From Hazelden's product description: "In January 1939, Wilson and other AA founders distributed 400 copies of his typescript to everyone they could think of "who might be concerned with the problem of alcoholism," to test out the program. As the loan copies were returned, suggestions for revision were considered and written out in colored pencil on one master copy that was eventually submitted for publication. The many changes made in black, green, and red on page after page are shown here in their original form, revealing the opinions, debates, and discussions that went into making the Big Book."

Writing & Printing of the Big Book (Q&A)

2010-10-03T03:10:00.000-07:00

Why is a portion of Chapter 5 (How It Works) read at the beginning of meetings?
In 1939, a drunk named Mort J. got sober after reading the book Alcoholics Anonymous. He moved to Los Angeles in 1940 and rented a meeting room in the Cecil Hotel with his own money. He insisted on a reading from Chapter 5 of the Big Book at the beginning of every meeting held there.

Where does the name Alcoholics Anonymous come from?
In the book Alcoholics Anonymous Comes of Age, Bill states that "Alcoholics Anonymous" was one of the first suggestions for a title for the book, appearing as early as October 1938: "After we New Yorkers had left the Oxford Groups in 1937 we often, described ourselves as a 'nameless bunch of alcoholics.' From this phrase it was only a step to the idea of Alcoholics Anonymous."

Were other names thought of for the book?
Yes. Another popular title was The Way Out. Bill confessed that he began to be tempted: "If we gave the book this name, then I could add my signature...I began to forget that this was everybody's book and that I had been mostly the umpire of the discussions that had created it. In one dark moment I even considered calling the book The B.W. Movement.

Why does AA publish its own literature?
The founding members' decision to publish the book on their own, instead of going with an establish publishing company, has enabled AA to keep the message intact and use the income from book sales to carry the message. AA need never publish any piece of literature simply because "it will sell." New material is developed only in response to an expressed need from a substantial portion of the Fellowship.

A Newcomer Asks...

2010-10-01T03:32:00.000-07:00

The following is from the pamphlet "A Newcomer Asks..." (A.A. General Service Conference approved literature):

What is Alcoholics Anonymous?
We are a Fellowship of men and women who have lost the ability to control our drinking and have found ourselves in various kinds of trouble as a result of drinking. We attempt-most of us successfully-to create a satisfying way of life without alcohol. For this we find we need the help and support of other alcoholics in A.A.

Am I an alcoholic?

If you repeatedly drink more than you intend or want to, if you get into trouble, or if you have memory lapses when you drink, you may be an alcoholic. Only you can decide. No one in A.A. will tell you whether you are or not.

What can I do if I am worried about my drinking?
Seek help. Alcoholics Anonymous can help.

If I go to an A.A. meeting, does that commit me to anything?
No. A.A. does not keep membership files, or attendance records. You do not have to reveal anything about yourself. No one will bother you if you don't want to come back.

What happens at an A.A. meeting?
An A.A. meeting may take one of several forms, but at any meeting you will find alcoholics talking about what drinking did to their lives and personalities, what actions they took to help themselves, and how they are living their lives today.

Is A.A. a religious organization?
No. Nor is it allied with any religious organization.

There's a lot of talk about God, though, isn't there?
The majority of A.A. members believe that we have found the solution to our drinking problem not through individual willpower, but through a power greater than ourselves. However, everyone defines this power as he or she wishes. Many people call it God, others think it is the A.A. group, still others don't believe in it at all. There is room in A.A. for people of all shades of belief and nonbelief.

What advice do you give new members?
In our experience, the people who recover in A.A. are those who: (a) stay away from the first drink; (b) attend A.A. meetings regularly; (c) seek out the people in A.A. who have successfully stayed sober for some time; (d) try to put into practice the A.A. program of recovery.

Video: Bill discusses the twelve traditions

2010-09-19T15:40:00.000-07:00

Here are some clips from the film entitled Bill Discusses The Twelve Traditions. It was shot in 1969 in New York City and released by AA World Services for use in AA groups. Co-founder Bill W. discusses how the traditions came about: out of the need to ensure the future of Alcoholics Anonymous as a whole.

Part 1/7

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Part 7/7

The Twelve Traditions (Short Form)

1. Our common welfare should come first; personal recovery depends upon A.A. unity.

2. For our group purpose there is but one ultimate authority - a loving God as He may express Himself in our group conscience. Our leaders are but trusted servants; they do not govern.

3. The only requirement for A.A. membership is a desire to stop drinking.

4. Each group should be autonomous except in matters affecting other groups or A.A. as a whole.

5. Each group has but one primary purpose - to carry its message to the alcoholic who still suffers.

6. An A.A. group ought never endorse, finance or lend the A.A. name to any related facility or outside enterprise, lest problems of money, property and prestige divert us from our primary purpose.

7. Every A.A. group ought to be fully self-supporting, declining outside contributions.

8. Alcoholics Anonymous should remain forever nonprofessional, but our service centers may employ special workers.

9. A.A., as such, ought never be organized; but we may create service boards or committees directly responsible to those they serve.

10. Alcoholics Anonymous has no opinion on outside issues; hence the A.A. name ought never be drawn into public controversy.

11. Our public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion; we need always maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio and films.

12. Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities.

Father Joe M. speaks on Step 3

2010-09-05T21:35:00.000-07:00

Origin of the 12 Traditions

2010-09-03T19:49:00.000-07:00

We hear them at nearly every meeting, they are on the wall at AA clubs, and they are in the back of the Big Book. But how exactly did the 12 Traditions come about? In April 1946, Bill W. wrote an article for the Grapevine entitled "Twelve Suggested Points of AA Tradition." This was the first incarnation of the 12 Traditions: the first time they were presented to the whole of Alcoholics Anonymous.

Here is an excerpt from that Grapevine article, published in April 1946:

Nobody invented Alcoholics Anonymous. It grew. Trial and error has produced a rich experience. Little by little we have been adopting the lessons of that experience, first as policy and then as Tradition. That process still goes on and we hope it never stops. Should we ever harden too much, the letter might crush the spirit. We could victimize ourselves by petty rules and prohibitions; we could imagine that we had said the last word. We might even be asking alcoholics to accept our rigid ideas or stay away. We never stifle progress like that!

Yet the lessons of our experience count for a great deal -- a very great deal, we are each convinced. The first written record of AA experience was the book "Alcoholics Anonymous." It was addressed to the heart of our foremost problem -- release from the alcohol obsession. It contained personal experiences of drinking and recovery and a statement of those divine but ancient principles, which have brought us a miraculous regeneration. Since publication of "Alcoholics Anonymous" in 1939 we have grown from 100 to 24,000 members. Seven years have passed; seven years, of vast experience with our next greatest undertaking -- the problem of living and working together. This is today our main concern. If we can succeed in this adventure -- and keep succeeding -- then, and only then, will our future be secure.

Over the course of 1947-1948, Bill expanded on each tradition with twelve articles: one for each tradition. The traditions arose out of experiences from the early AA groups; they are in place to ensure the future of Alcoholics Anonymous.

To read the entire article, click the link below:
Twelve Suggested Points of AA Tradition by Bill W.
A.A. Grapevine, April 1946

Quotes For The Books #9

2010-09-01T12:36:00.000-07:00

"You cannot think your way into a new way of acting, but you can act your way into a new way of thinking."
-- Chuck C.

Also, for a great read...check out A New Pair of Glasses by Chuck C. While not an official AA publication, the old-timer tells his experience with Alcoholics Anonymous. The text is actually a transcript of a series of talks Chuck gave over a weekend retreat.

From the back cover:
"A copy of this tenth printing may be obtained by mailing a check in the sum of Five ($5.00) Dollars or Seventy-six Dollars and fifty cents ($76.50) for a carton of twenty-five copies to:
New-Look Publishing Co.
PO Box 17496
Irvine, CA 92623"

Burnt Biscuits

2010-08-28T22:29:00.000-07:00

I have no idea exactly the origins of this story, but I heard a woman read it after she was done sharing at a speaker meeting. It's a nice little story with a good lesson, especially for us alcoholics. Here it is:

When I was a kid, my mom liked to make breakfast food for dinner every now and then. And I remember one night in particular when she had made breakfast after a long, hard day at work.

On that evening so long ago, my mom placed a plate of eggs, sausage and extremely burned biscuits in front of my dad. I remember waiting to see if anyone noticed! Yet all my dad did was reach for his biscuit, smile at my mom and ask me how my day was at school. I don't remember what I told him that night, but I do remember watching him smear butter and jelly on that biscuit and eat every bite!

When I got up from the table that evening, I remember hearing my mom apologize to my dad for burning the biscuits. And I'll never forget what he said: "Honey, I love burned biscuits."

Later that night, I went to kiss Daddy good night and I asked him if he really liked his biscuits burned. He wrapped me in his arms and said, "Your Momma put in a hard day at work today and she's real tired. And besides - a little burnt biscuit never hurt anyone!"

"Life is full of imperfect things...and imperfect people. I'm not the best at hardly anything, and I forget birthdays and anniversaries just like everyone else. But what I've learned over the years is that learning to accept each others faults - and choosing to celebrate each others differences - is one of the most important keys to creating a healthy, growing, and lasting relationship."

"And that's my prayer for you today. That you will learn to take the good, the bad, and the ugly parts of your life and lay them at the feet of God. Because in the end, He's the only One who will be able to give you a relationship where a burnt biscuit isn't a deal-breaker!"

We could extend this to any relationship. In fact, understanding is the base of any relationship, be it a husband-wife or parent-child or friendship!

"Don't put the key to your happiness in someone else's pocket - keep it in your own."

Definitions

2010-08-24T11:43:00.000-07:00

As with many other things in life, my perception of things is not always correct. After looking some words in the Big Book I was confused on, I was surprised to find I didn't have their definitions quite right. Here's what I found:

From the Doctor's Opinion: "...the action of alcohol on these chronic alcoholics is a manifestation of an allergy."

allergy (n.) exaggerated or pathological immunological reaction (as by sneezing, difficult breathing, itching, or skin rashes) to substances, situations, or physical states that are without comparable effect on the average individual

From the Doctor's Opinion: "They are restless, irritable and discontented, unless they can again experience the sense of ease and comfort which comes at once by taking a few drinks - drinks which they see others taking with impunity."

impunity (n.) exemption from punishment, harm, or loss

Daily Recovery Meditations by Mike L.

2010-08-18T11:57:00.000-07:00

This past weekend, I had the privilege of speaking for a Grapevine Workshop at the 2010 Salt River Group Roundup in Scottsdale, AZ. The workshop consisted of a history of the Grapevine, what the Grapevine does today, the experience of four AA's writing for the Grapevine, and ended with a Q&A session.

One of the people who spoke was a gentleman named Mike L. As it turns out, he has not only written articles for the Grapevine, but has had two books published. Similar to AA's Daily Reflections, these texts consist of a meditation for each day of the year.

Click on a cover to enlarge.

Mike's first book, Grateful Not Smug, was published in 2007. Gratitude a Verb, his follow-up, was published in 2009. He was so kind as to give me a copy of each, and I have been using them in my morning routine. They cover a range of topics: from AA principles like willingness and acceptance to other aspects of recovery such as family relationships and triggers. Each meditation starts with a quote which is unraveled by Mike and ends with an affirmation. I would recommend his books to anyone in recovery, as Mike's meditations deal with every single aspect of recovery from alcoholism.

To learn more about Mike and his books, check out his website:
Meditations 12-Step

Step Four Worksheets

2010-08-10T10:04:00.001-07:00

Many people, myself included, go into the fourth step with a lot of worry. Personally, I thought things like "how can I possibly make sure I get everything?" and "I don't think I'll be able to share this with my sponsor." However, as my sponsor pointed out to me, I just had to be as thorough as I could and be completely honest.

He gave me these worksheets which were very helpful, along with his guidance and support. Click on the link below to download the Forth Step Inventory worksheets:

http://www.2shared.com/document/Fl10Fw-N/step_4.html

Quotes For The Books #8

2010-07-25T11:33:00.000-07:00

"You sink with fear and float with faith."
-- Jim O.

Back For More

2010-07-25T11:28:00.000-07:00

It's been a while and a lot has happened in my sobriety since my last post: I got a job, my father so graciously gave me his old car, I will be moving in a week, my story was published in the Grapevine, I picked up my first sponsee, and I helped start a meeting in my area. Still doing the deal, enjoying life, but most of all I am keeping my sobriety as my number one priority. I know that without it, nothing else in my life is possible. So, in keeping with AA being for and and for free, I'm recommitting to keeping this site updated with more speaker tapes, quotes, and all things AA-related.

Second Step Prayer

2010-03-09T22:17:00.000-08:00

Derived from page 59 of Alcoholics Anonymous:

God, I'm standing at the turning point right now.
Give me your protection and care
as I abandon myself to you and
give up my old ways and my old ideas just for today.

Online Big Book Audio (Portions)

2010-03-03T12:10:00.000-08:00

Want to listen to the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, but don't want to download each chapter file? No problem, head on over to The Recovery Zone, and you can stream the preface, foreword, Doctor's Opinion, and the first eleven chapters. It is great for the alcoholic on the go or if you're hung up at the airport terminal and forgot your book but have your laptop. No downloads necessary. Again, here is the link:

http://www.recoveryzone.org/docs/bigbook.htm

Serenity Prayer (Long Version)

2010-02-28T11:00:00.000-08:00

God, grant me the Serenity
to accept the things
I cannot change Courage to change the
things I can, and the
Wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardship as the
pathway to peace.
Taking, as He did, this
sinful world as it is,
not as I would have it.
Trusting that He will make
all things right if I
surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy
in this life, and supremely
happy with Him forever in
the next.
Amen

The Responsibility Declaration

2010-02-27T13:49:00.000-08:00

"I am responsible. When anyone, anywhere, reaches out for help, I want the hand of A.A. always to be there. And for that: I am responsible."

Originally written by Al S., an editor for the Grapevine, Bill W. further explained the declaration in an article for the Grapevine called "Responsibility Is Our Theme," published in July of 1965. The essence of the being responsible for carrying the message. comes from the twelfth step and the fifth tradition, which states "Each group has but one primary purpose—to carry its message to the alcoholic who still suffers."

Most sponsors will direct their sponsees to become a sponsor only upon completion of the twelve steps. However, as Chuck C. puts it in A New Pair of Glasses, anybody who has at least a day sober and the means can always "carry the alcoholic to the message."

Just For Today Card

2010-02-21T10:36:00.000-08:00

The following is the text from the "Just For Today" card that can still be found at some meetings. It's very helpful when thinking about taking a drink:

Just for today I will try to live through this day only, and not tackle all my problems at once. I can do something for twelve hours that would appall me if I felt that I had to keep it up for a lifetime.
Just for today I will be happy. This assumes to be true what Abraham Lincoln said, that most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be.
Just for today I will adjust myself to what is, and not try to adjust everything to my own desires. I will take my luck as it comes, and fit myself to it.
Just for today I will try to strengthen my mind. I will study. I will learn something useful. I will not be a mental loafer. I will read something that requires effort, thought and concentration.
Just for today I will exercise my soul in three ways: I will do somebody a good turn, and not get found out; if anybody knows of it, it will not count. I will do at least two things I don’t want to do just for exercise. I will not show anyone that my feelings are hurt; they may be hurt, but today I will not show it.
Just for today I will be agreeable. I will look as well as I can, dress becomingly, keep my voice low, be courteous, criticize not one bit. I won’t find fault with anything, nor try to improve or regulate anybody but myself.
Just for today I will have a program. I may not follow it exactly, but I will have it. I will save myself from two pests: hurry and indecision.
Just for today I will have a quiet half hour all by myself and relax. During this half hour, sometime, I will try to get a better perspective of my life.
Just for today I will be unafraid. Especially I will not be afraid to enjoy what is beautiful and to believe that as I give to the world, so the world will give to me.

"To Thine Own Self Be True"

2010-02-19T22:42:00.000-08:00

This above all,—to thine own self be true;
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

--Shakespeare's Hamlet, Act I, scene iii (59–80)

Prayer of Gratitude

2010-02-12T21:31:00.000-08:00

Here is a prayer that was given to me by a member of the fellowship that has really helped in practicing steps eleven and twelve. I believe it is a Thanksgiving blessing of sorts, but it has certainly applied for me and others in recovery. The copy give to me is from a newspaper clipping. Regardless of the origin, I hope it may be useful for others.

Oh, Heavenly Father, we thank thee for food and remember the hungry.
We thank thee for health, and remember the sick.
We thank thee for friends, and remember the friendless.
We thank thee for freedom, and remember the enslaved.
May these remembrances stir us to service,
That thy gifts to us may be used for others. Amen.

Bill W. at the Texas State Convention, 1951

2010-02-12T11:14:00.000-08:00

Here is another historic speaker tape from the archives: Bill W. giving a long talk at the AA Texas State Convention in 1951. He speaks of his spiritual experience, first meeting with Dr. Bob, writing the book, and the three legacies of recovery, unity, and service. There's a great deal of history in this one! Click the link below to download:

http://www.2shared.com/file/11337793/2a4045ee/Bill_W_TX_State_Convention_195.html

The .zip archive contains two MP3 files, two parts of the same talk.

Quotes For The Books #7

2010-02-10T10:51:00.000-08:00

I've never heard anybody attribute this quote to Einstein. Sure, he was talking about experiments with regards to science, but here is one of the cornerstones of the AA program...a principle of the first step. Today, I don't have to buy into that insanity. For that, I am grateful.

Quotes For The Books #6

2010-02-06T22:18:00.000-08:00

"If you keep doing what you're doing, you'll keep getting what you're getting."

-- Johnny H.

Promotion, not attraction?

2010-02-06T11:28:00.001-08:00

I was riding on the bus in Costa Mesa, CA today and came across this:

Comic #2

2010-02-04T22:51:00.001-08:00

Recovery-World's Bill W. Bobblehead

2010-02-03T10:49:00.001-08:00

Here's a weird and fun item I stumbled upon the other day: a Bill W. bobblehead. Bring the man himself to work, put it on your desk at home, or have him watch over the literature table at your home group. While this item is not AA-approved, it is a great collectible for every alcoholic.

Follow this link to Recovery-World's online shop to purchase a Bill W. bobblehead ($20).

Third Step Prayer

2010-01-30T21:26:00.000-08:00

From page 63 of the book Alcoholics Anonymous:

"God, I offer myself to Thee-to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of life. May I do Thy will always!"

Quotes For The Books #5

2010-01-26T11:12:00.000-08:00

"Honest gets us sober, tolerance keeps us sober."
-- Bill W.

Set Aside Prayer

2010-01-20T22:43:00.000-08:00

God,
Please help me set aside
Everything I think I know
About myself, my disease,
These steps, and especially You;
For an open mind
And a new experience
With myself, my disease,
These steps and especially You.

The prayer comes from Big Book study guides and tapes. It was put together from concepts found in pages 42-58 of Alcoholics Anonymous. Here is one of these passages (from page 47, fourth paragraph):

Do not let any prejudice you may have against any spiritual terms deter you from honestly asking yourself what they mean to you.

The set aside prayer is very useful at the beginning of the day, before a meeting, before step-work, and before working with others. While it is not found in any official AA literature, it remains a powerful prayer.

Historic Photo #5: Bill at Dr. Bob's final resting place

2010-01-17T11:07:00.000-08:00

Bill's Story: "the so-called belladonna treatment"

2010-01-15T10:08:00.000-08:00

In Bill's Story, he refers to a method for alcohol detox called the belladonna treatment. It is best described by Dr. Lambert in the book AA: The Way It Began:

Briefly stated, it consists in the hourly dosage of a mixture of belladonna, hyoscyamus and xanthoxylum. The mixture is given every hour, day and night, for about fifty hours. There is also given about every twelve hours a vigorous catharsis of C.C. pills and blue mass. At the end of the treatment, when it is evident that there are abundant bilious stools, castor oil is given to clean out thoroughly the intestinal tract. If you leave any of the ingredients out, the reaction of the cessation of desire is not as clear cut as when the three are mixed together. The amount necessary to give is judged by the physiologic action of the belladonna it contains. When the face becomes flushed, the throat dry, and the pupils of the eyes dilated, you must cut down your mixture or cease giving it altogether until these symptoms pass. You must, however, push this mixture until these symptoms appear, or you will not obtain a clear cut cessation of the desire for the narcotic.

Side effects included delirious experiences, hallucinations, skin irritation, among many others. Due to the harsh side effects, the belladonna treatment had been phased out of modern medicine. Currently, there is no sufficient scientific evidence to recommend the belladonna plant for any medical condition.

Father John Doe: The Golden Book of Resentments

2010-01-12T10:18:00.000-08:00

Fr. Ralph P., known amongst AA circles as Father John Doe, was the first Roman Catholic priest to join Alcoholics Anonymous. In his own words, "All my life, I will carry three indelible marks. I am a Roman Catholic priest. I am an alcoholic. And I am a neurotic."

He took his first drink about a year after being ordained. On November 10, 1941, a helpful hand took him to his first AA meeting. Despite bouts of severe depression, he didn't take a drink for the rest of his life. In all, his last 25 years of life were spent without alcohol.

Father John Doe made his life work helping other drunks, just as he had been helped that one November life. He wrote books, toured the country to speak, lead retreats, and carried the message. One of the books in The Golden Books series is on resentments.

Here is a link to a talk he gave in 1953 on resentments:
http://www.megaupload.com/?d=WE0B72VE
Three 15-minute MP3 files, 4.4MB

What is Rule 62?

2010-01-11T10:36:00.000-08:00

Rule 62 is "don't take yourself too damn seriously."

It has a few variations, but this is the basic idea. It is found on page 149 of the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions. In discussing Tradition Four - "Each group should be autonomous except in matters affecting other groups or A.A. as a whole" - Bill W.'s essay spoke of an example where a group had extravagant ideas, partly because an enthusiastic promoter got them all excited about building "a great big alcoholic center" using other people's money. The deal went sour and the experience became a lesson in humility.

1939 Liberty Magazine Article

2010-01-08T08:42:00.000-08:00

"Alcoholics and God"
by Morris Markey
Is there hope for habitual drunkards?
A cure that borders on the miraculous -- and it works!

For twenty-five or thirty cents we buy a glass of fluid which is pleasant to the taste, and which contains within its small measure a store of warmth and good-fellowship and stimulation, of release from momentary cares and anxieties. That would be a drink of whisky, of course -- whisky, which is one of Nature's most generous gifts to man, and at the same time one of his most elusive problems. It is a problem because, like many of his greatest benefits, man does not quite know how to control it. Many experiments have been made, the most spectacular being the queer nightmare of prohibition, which left such deep scars upon the morals and the manners of our nation. Millions of dollars have been spent by philanthropists and crusaders to spread the doctrine of temperance. In our time the most responsible of the distillers are urging us to use their wares sensibly, without excess.

But to a certain limited number of our countrymen neither prohibition nor wise admonishments have any meaning, because they are helpless when it comes to obeying them. I speak of the true alcoholics, and before going any further I had best explain what that term means.

For a medical definition of the term, I quote an eminent doctor who, has spent twenty-five years treating such people in a highly regarded private hospital: "We believe . . . that the action of alcohol in chronic alcoholics is a manifestation of an allergy - that the phenomenon of craving is limited to this class and never occurs in the average temperate drinker. These allergic types can never safely use alcohol in any form at all."

They are, he goes on, touched with physical and mental quirks that prevent them from controlling their own actions. They suffer from what some doctors call a "compulsion neurosis." They know liquor is bad for them but periodically; they are driven by a violent and totally uncontrollable desire for a drink. And after that first drink, the deluge.

Now these people are genuinely sick. The liquor habit with them is not a vice. It is a specific illness of body and mind, and should be treated as such.

By far the most successful cure is that used by the hospital whose head doctor I have quoted. There is nothing secret about it. It has the endorsement of the medical profession. It is, fundamentally, a process of dehydration: of removing harmful toxins from all parts of the body faster than Nature could accomplish it. Within five or six days -- two weeks at the maximum -- the patient's body is utterly free from alcoholic poisons. Which means that the physical craving is completely cured, because the body cries out for alcohol only when alcohol is already there. The patient has no feeling of revulsion toward whisky. He simply is not interested in it. He has recovered. But wait. How permanent is his recovery?

Our doctor says this: "Though the aggregate of full recoveries through physical and psychiatric effort its considerable, we doctors must admit that we have made little impression upon the problem as a whole. For there are many types which do not respond to the psychological approach.

"I do not believe that true alcoholism is entirely a matter of individual mental control. I have had many men who had, for example, worked for a period of months on some business deal that was to be settled on a certain date . . . For reasons they could not afterward explain, they took a drink a day or two prior to the date . . . and the important engagement was not even kept. These men were not drinking to escape. They were drinking to overcome a craving beyond their mental control.

"The classification of alcoholics is most difficult. There are, of course, the psychopaths who are emotionally unstable . . . They are over remorseful and make many resolutions -- but never a decision.

"There is the type who is unwilling to admit that he cannot take a drink just like the rest of the boys. He does tricks with his drinking -- changing his brand, or drinking only after meals or changing his companions. None of this helps him strengthen his control and be like other people. Then there are types entirely normal in every respect except in the effect which alcohol has upon them . . .

"All these, and many others, have one symptom in common: They cannot start drinking without developing the phenomenon of craving . . . The only relief we have to suggest is complete abstinence from alcohol.

"But are these unfortunate people really capable, mentally, of abstaining completely? Their bodies may be cured of craving. Can their minds be cured? Can they be rid of the deadly compulsion neurosis?"

Among physicians the general opinion seems to be that chronic alcoholics are doomed. But wait! Within the last four years, evidence has appeared which has startled hard-boiled medical men by proving that the compulsion neurosis can be entirely eliminated. Perhaps you are one of those cynical people who will turn away when I say that the root of this new discovery is religion. But be patient for a moment. About three years ago a man appeared at the hospital in New York of which our doctor is head physician. It was his third "cure." Since his first visit he had lost his job, his friends, his health, and his self-respect. He was now living on the earnings of his wife.

He had tried every method he could find to cure his disease: had read all the great philosophers and psychologists. He had tried religion but he simply could not accept it. It would not seem real and personal to him.

He went through the cure as usual and came out of it in very low spirits. He was lying in bed, emptied of vitality and thought, when suddenly, a strange and totally unexpected thrill went through his body and mind. He called out for the doctor. When the doctor came in, the man looked up at him and grinned.

"Well, doc," he said, "my troubles are all over. I've got religion."
"Why, you're the last man . . ."
"Sure, I know all that. But I've got it. And I know I'm cured of this drinking business for good." He talked with great intensity for a while and then said, " Listen, doc. I've got to see some other patient -- one that is about to be dismissed."

The doctor demurred. It all sounded a trifle fanatical. But finally he consented. And thus was born the movement which is now flourishing with almost sensational success as Alcoholics Anonymous."

To read the rest of the article, check out Barefoot's World.

Origin of H.A.L.T.

2010-01-06T01:19:00.000-08:00

I always wondered about the halt acronym (hungry, angry, lonely, tired). I've heard it as a topic in my morning meeting, but could never find it in any AA literature. After some research, I've discovered that the acronym was created as a relapse prevention tool in 1941 at St. Thomas Hospital.

The idea is that if you are feeling any of the four, you satisfy those needs. If hungry, at something. If angry, figure out why and make amends/set a boundary if necessary. If lonely, get to a meeting or call someone. And if tired, take a nap or go to bed for the night. Pretty simple things that the alcoholic mind just doesn't jump to immediately because we, after all, are "bodily and mentally different."

Letter from Bill W. to Jim B.

2010-01-05T22:44:00.000-08:00

Back before e-mail, cell phones, and even fax machines, members of the fellowship kept in contact by written correspondence. Jim B., author of the personal story "The Vicious Cycle," exchanged letters frequently with Bill W. while contributing to AA's growth in Philadelphia. Here is one from March 4, 1940:

Dear Jim:

Will you let me know with all speed at post office box #658, Church Street Annex, New York City just what time, and just where, and how to get to your Philadelphia meeting Thursday P.M.

It seems a great movement towards Philadelphia is welling up here amongst the brethren. At least one automobile load will put in an appearance, and perhaps two.

It never rains - it pours! Twenty five dollars, coin of the realm has just come into my hands and I am endorsing it over to you as per enclosed.

Once more Jim, a lot of thanks for the automobile. We appreciate what you did so much.

Now a final burst of generosity comes from Ruth Hock who is sending you one returned book and one new one, partly in consideration for the big business done at Wanamakers, partly for the use of the Philadelphia brethren, but mostly, I suspect, because she likes you so well.

Yours,
Bill

Comic #1

2010-01-03T14:22:00.000-08:00

Click the above image to enlarge

NBAC 2009 Speaker Collection

2010-01-02T10:45:00.000-08:00

Here is a selection of four speaker tapes from the Newport Beach Alano Club's speaker series. Each tape, recorded at a 2009 meeting, is a circuit speaker. All carry a great message, enjoy!

Track Listing:
1. Bill C. from Torrance, CA on April 5, 2009.
2. Shawn O. on June 20, 2009.
3. Clancy I. from Venice Beach, CA on November 11, 2009.
4. Doug R. on November 29, 2009.

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=DNMYJOP7
Click the above link to download the .zip package (39.3 MB)

Quotes For The Books #4

2010-01-01T11:40:00.000-08:00

"Alcoholism is an obsession of the mind that condemns one to drink and an allergy of the body that condemns one to die."

-- Dr. William Silkworth

Text of AA's Lasker Award (1951)

2009-12-30T10:55:00.000-08:00

The American Public Health Association presents a Lasker Award for 1951 to Alcoholics Anonymous in recognition of is unique and highly successful approach to that age-old public health and social problem, alcoholism.

Since its founding sixteen years ago, Alcoholics Anonymous has brought recovery to more than 120,000 chronic drinkers formerly thought hopeless. Today this world fellowship of 4,000 groups, resident in 38 countries, is rehabilitating 25,000 additional persons yearly. In emphasizing alcoholism as an illness, the social stigma associated with this condition is being blotted out.

Alcoholics Anonymous works upon the novel principle that a recovered alcoholic can reach and treat a fellow sufferer as no one else can. In so doing, the recovered alcoholic maintains his own sobriety; the man he treats soon becomes a physician to the next new applicant, thus creating an ever expanding chain reaction of liberation, with patients welded together by bonds of common suffering, common understanding, and stimulating action in a great cause.

This is not a reform movement, nor is it operated by professionals who are concerned with the problem. It is financed by voluntary contributions of its members, all of whom remain anonymous. There are no dues, no paid therapists, no paid professional workers. It enjoys the good will and often the warm endorsement of many medical and scientific groups - no mean achievement in itself for any organization run entirely by laymen.

Historians may one day point to Alcoholics Anonymous as a society which did far more than achieve a considerable measure of success with alcoholism and its stigma; they may recognize Alcoholics Anonymous to have been a great venture with social pioneering which forged a new instrument for social action; a new therapy based on the kinship of common suffering; one having a vast potential for the myriad other ills of mankind.

The Touch of the Master's Hand

2009-12-27T12:58:00.001-08:00

The Touch of the Master's Hand
By: Myra Brooks Welch

It was battered and scarred,
And the auctioneer thought it
Hardly worth his while
To waste his time on the old violin,
But he held it up with a smile.
"What am I bid, good people", he cried,
"Who starts the bidding for me?"
"One dollar, one dollar, Do I hear two?"
"Two dollars, who makes it three?"
"Three dollars once, three dollars twice, going for three",

But, No,
From the room far back a grey haired man
Came forward and picked up the bow,
Then wiping the dust from the old violin
And tightening up the strings,
He played a melody, pure and sweet,
As sweet as the angel sings.

The music ceased and the auctioneer
With a voice that was quiet and low,
Said "What now am I bid for this old violin?"
As he held it aloft with its' bow.
"One thousand, one thousand, Do I hear two?"
"Two thousand, Who makes it three?"
"Three thousand once, three thousand twice,
Going and gone", said he.

The audience cheered,
But some of them cried,
"We just don't understand."
"What changed its' worth?"
Swift came the reply.
"The Touch of the Masters Hand."

And many a man with life out of tune,
All battered with bourbon and gin,
Is auctioned cheap to a thoughtless crowd
Much like that old violin.
A mess of pottage, a glass of wine,
A game and he travels on.
He is going once, he is going twice,
He is going and almost gone.
But the Master comes,
And the foolish crowd never can quite understand,
The worth of a soul and the change that is wrought
By the Touch of the Master's Hand.

This poem was made popular by Joe Q. among alcoholics when he spoke at the Orange-Olive Friendship Club in 1974. The metaphor of the old violin is, in my opinion, perfect for the alcoholic. Many of us were throw-aways, made beautiful once again only by the grace of God.

Speaker Tape Collection, Volume 1 (Part One)

2009-12-26T22:46:00.000-08:00

Here it is, the first compilation of speaker tapes. Volume 1 consists of all historic speakers. This is only part one of the collection. Part two will follow in a few days. The following tapes are included in this download:

1) Dr. Harry's talk from Anonymity: The Ego Reducer meeting in St. Louis on July 5, 1955.
2) Tom P. speaking on January 1, 1959.
3) Clancy I. giving his first major talk in 1959.
4) Bill W. at the first Al-Anon World Conference in 1971.
5) Norm A.'s pitch from the Texas State Convention on June 15, 1973.

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=QIKRRWAJ
Click the above link to download these tapes in a single .zip file (88 MB)

The Promises of Step Ten

2009-12-20T10:33:00.000-08:00

From pages 84-85 of the book Alcoholics Anonymous:

1. "We have ceased fighting anything or anyone - even alcohol.
2. For by this time sanity will have returned.
3. We will seldom be interested in liquor.
4. If tempted, we recoil from it as from a hot flame.
5. We react sanely and normally, and
6. we will find that this has happened automatically.
7. We will see that our new attitude toward liquor has been given us without any thought or effort on our part. It just comes! That is the miracle of it.
8. We are not fighting it,
9. neither are we avoiding it.
10. We have not even sworn off. Instead, the problem has been removed. It does not exist for us.
11. We are neither cocky
12. nor are we afraid."

Phrases I Don't Understand, Yet Make Perfect Sense

2009-12-17T10:25:00.000-08:00

Language interests me. Throughout my sobriety, I've heard phrases that put a look of confusion on my face. However, after I think for a bit, they somehow make sense. Here are three that stick out to me:

"I've got to keep on trudging if I want to stay right where I am"

"I finally got a grip when I let go"

"What I know now is I never knew nothing"

What do you think? Post a comment!

The Spiritual Experience

2009-12-16T15:54:00.000-08:00

When I first came to the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous, the phrase "spiritual experience" baffled me. No matter how much I listened in meetings, I just couldn't wrap my stubborn mind around the term. However, with some time and reading outside the Big Book, I've come to learn a lot about the spiritual experience and its origins. When Bill W. and friends were writing the Big Book, much of the material on the spiritual experience comes from William James' book The Varieties of Religious Experience. I read what James had to say and came away with the following...in order for an experience to be considered spiritual (James uses the phrase mystical experience, but I believe this can still apply to us alcoholics), there are four characteristics:

1. Transiency - The experience isn't long-lasting. It usually lasts for a few minutes, a half hour to an hour at the very most.
2. Ineffability - Words cannot do the experience justice. It cannot be adequately described in writing.
3. Noetic - The person has had a sudden realization of great truth. Or he/she sees something ordinary truly for the first time.
4. Passivity - The person's will is held by a Power greater than themselves. They are not in control during the experience.

Certainly, these qualities sound like the "personality change sufficient to bring about recovery from alcoholism" I experienced after working the twelve steps.

What are your thoughts? Post a comment to share what you think.

Speaker Tape #8

2009-12-15T11:50:00.001-08:00

As promised, here it is. A copy of Dr. Bob's last major talk in MP3 format. The recording was made at the speaker meeting in Detroit, MI sometime in December 1948. You may have seen a transcription of this talk in the A.A. GSC-approved pamphlet entitled "The Co-founders of Alcoholics Anonymous: Biographical Sketches, Their Last Major Talks." Here is an excerpt from that pamphlet of Dr. Bob's talk:

I couldn't understand what was wrong. I had done all the things that those good people told me to do. I had done them, I thought, very faithfully and sincerely. And I still continued to overindulge. But the one that they hadn't told me was the one thing that Bill did that Sunday - attempt to be helpful to somebody else.

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=5TCWP4LS
Click the above link to download, 50'41" (23.3 MB)

Before Speaker Tapes

2009-12-15T11:00:00.000-08:00

Here is Dr. Bob and Bill W. on vinyl record. As far as we know, these were the only speaker recording released in this format. Rockhill Recording released this two record set in April 1947. As you can see, Bill's talk was called "Milestones of Alcoholics Anonymous, while Dr. Bob's record was of his now famous "Last Major Talk." Check back later today for a download link to Dr. Bob's talk.

Quotes For The Books #4

2009-12-14T21:57:00.000-08:00

"And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. ... I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment."

- Dr. Paul

The Conception of Jeopardy

2009-12-12T14:30:00.000-08:00

Jeopardy must have been invented by an alcoholic. Who else starts out with all the answers?

One Alcoholic's Wishlist

2009-12-12T14:04:00.000-08:00

Dear Santa,

I have been a good boy this year, so please delivery the following on Christmas Eve. Thank you fat man in the red suit. You are great.

1. To stay sober today.
2. For Obama to pass a law banning any radio station from playing holiday music, except on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.
3. To make it through Christmas with the family sober.
4. For the perpetual newcomer to finally "get it."
5. To stay sober on New Year's Eve.
6. For someone to ask me to sponsor them.
7. To make it to my one year anniversary in February, still sober.
8. For a job. Seriously, anything will do.
9. To make it through St. Patrick's Day sober.
10. For peace and good will to all men on earth.

I realize this may be asking a lot, dear old Santa, but these ten items are all I really want for Christmas. As you can see on your list, and as previously mentioned, I have been nice.

Your Friend,
An Alcoholic

Historic Photo #5: Dr. Bob, Dr. Harry & Bill W.

2009-12-11T08:45:00.001-08:00

AA Trivia #2

2009-12-10T10:00:00.000-08:00

Dr. Bob's dog was named Roger
Bill W. never graduated high school
Ebby T., Bill's sponsor, is buried in Albany, NY
The one millionth copy of Alcoholics Anonymous was given to then president Richard Nixon
Dr. Bob had two tattoos

Quotes For The Books #3

2009-12-09T12:58:00.000-08:00

"This is a one day at a time program. If you are sober today, you are tied for first place."

- Unknown

Speaker Tape #7

2009-12-08T19:01:00.000-08:00

For the seventh installment of the speaker tape series here on the Road of Happy Destiny, I bring you the classic Chalk Talk On Alcoholism by Father Joe M. Perhaps you have heard of his books, CD's, or videos. After Father Joe got sober in 1958, he continued his work in the church and began working with other alcoholics. For many years, he spoke publicly for the Division of Alcoholism Control for the State of Maryland. In 1983, Father Martin's Ashley was founded as a non-profit recovery center for the chemically addicted in Havre de Grace, Maryland. On March 9 of this year, he died of heart failure at his Maryland home. Father Joe will always be remembered for his chalk talks on alcoholism as a whole, his videos on the steps, and his altruistic work with countless alcoholics.

Click the link below to download Father Joe's Chalk Talk On Alcoholism, recorded in 1997.
http://www.megaupload.com/?d=26PFWWKA
MP3 format, 52'00" (9.1 MB)

Historic Photo #4: Early California AA

2009-12-07T07:51:00.001-08:00

Here is a snapshot of AA history: One of the earliest California groups in the 1940's. This image is believed to have been taken in Long Beach. On the left in the black coat is Dr. Bob, his wife Anne smoking a cigarette in the center, and Bill W. on the right.

Quotes For The Books #2

2009-12-05T10:09:00.000-08:00

"We get on our knees to unload at night. And in the morning when we get on our knees again, God gives us just the load we are able to carry for that day."

- Dr. Bob

AA Depicted On Television

2009-12-03T11:20:00.000-08:00

Alcoholics Anonymous has been depicted in Hollywood films, but the appearances on television seem to be becoming more and more prevalent. It should be noted that the media depictions are certainly not AA as it is in reality. Nonetheless, here are two that I have seen recently.

"Bloody Mary"
The Catholics were furious, to say the least, over this episode of the animated series South Park. Stan's dad, Randy, gets a DUI one night and is court ordered to AA meetings. He finds out that he has a disease and hypochondria ensues. It is only with the miracle of a bleeding Virgin Mary statue that Randy is able to stop drinking. Randy begins to hang out with his new sober buddies, drinking lemonade and eating pizza. However, when the Pope declares it not to be a miracle, he and his fellow alcoholics relapse. In the end, Stan helps "cure" his dad of alcoholism and they live happily ever after with Randy learning to drink like a gentleman once again.

"The Apology"
Often considered the greatest television show of all-time, Seinfeld's depiction of an alcoholic in recovery is one of my personal favorites. The episodes opens with Jason "Stanky" Hanke making amends with Jerry, but not George. The short, stocky man is predictably irate by this and begins to demand an apology from Hanke: "You're an alcoholic! You have to apologize. Step Nine! Step Nine." He receives a sarcastic apology. George meets up with Hanke's sponsor, who George thinks is called a supervisor and is "the boss of him." When asked about an unresolved issue, George says "A little thing called Step Nine? Instead of an apology, he was beboppin' and scattin' all over me." He realizes he's not going to get an apology without a fight when Kramer says Hanke was "seen taking personal inventory." The show ends with George getting an apology for the bad apology, and Hanke ends up relapsing.

AA Trivia #1

2009-12-02T09:17:00.000-08:00

Here is the first installment of trivia for all you history buffs:

In 1939, a Big Book cost $3.50
Before AA World Services, the book was published by Works Publishing
Works Publishing was started by Bill W. and Hank P. strictly for publishing the Big Book
The name for the company comes from the line "faith without works is dead"
"Faith without works is dead," appearing in the Big Book, comes from the New Testament, James 2:20

Speaker Tape #6

2009-12-01T12:38:00.000-08:00

For the sixth edition of speaker tapes, here is the man...Bill W. himself, a tape from 1954 in Fort Worth, TX. Bill talks about the early days of Alcoholics Anonymous and gives a lot of history on the writing of the book Alcoholics Anonymous. It really is a true gem, click on the link below to download:

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=1T03R0FU
Bill W. Fort Worth, TX - 1954 (17.6 MB, 76'33")

Prayer of Saint Francis

2009-12-01T08:33:00.000-08:00

A fellow alcoholic introduced me to this prayer a few months ago. Since then, it has stuck. It's great for keeping a conscious contact via step eleven, but also a fine prayer in general. It is commonly attributed Saint Francis of Assisi circa 13th century, however the history is often disputed. Here it is, as it appears in the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions (Chapter 11, p. 99):

Lord, make me a channel of thy peace;
that where there is hatred, I may bring love;
that where there is wrong, I may bring the spirit of forgiveness;
that where there is discord, I may bring harmony;
that where there is error, I may bring truth;
that where there is doubt, I may bring faith;
that where there is despair, I may bring hope;
that where there are shadows, I may bring light;
that where there is sadness, I may bring joy.

Lord, grant that I may seek rather to comfort than to be comforted;
to understand, than to be understood;
to love, than to be loved.
For it is by self-forgetting that one finds.
It is by forgiving that one is forgiven.
It is by dying that one awakens to eternal life.
Amen.

While it is originally a prayer of Christianity, I find it very useful as a non-Christian. In my early sobriety, I would've stayed away from anything of that faith but today it no longer bothers me. I realize that is a request for my Higher Power's will.

Historic Photo #3: Dr. Bob and Anne S.

2009-11-27T07:50:00.000-08:00

Quotes For The Books #1

2009-11-22T10:35:00.000-08:00

"I used to be good for nothing. Now I do good for nothing."

- Chuck C.

Charles B. Towns Hospital Advertisement

2009-11-20T16:43:00.001-08:00

The Big Book refers to it as "world renowned." Though no longer in existence, the Charles B. Towns Hospital played an essential role in the early days of Alcoholics Anonymous. Bill W. dried up there a few times before ultimately getting sober for good. He also carried the message there when he realized he had to work with others to stay sober. It is, of course, the hospital where Dr. Silkworth worked. Silkworth was the main medical endorser of the AA program.

The Original Six Step Program

2009-11-14T09:44:00.000-08:00

Handwritten by Bill W.

Historic Photo #2: Bill W. visiting a man in the hospital

2009-11-14T00:28:00.000-08:00

Here is a nice shot of AA co-founder Bill W. sharing the good news with a man drying out in a hospital. Click on the photo below to enlarge it:

Why We Were Chosen

2009-11-12T10:48:00.000-08:00

Written By: Anonymous, circa 1974

God in His wisdom selected this group of men and women to be purveyors of His goodness. In selecting them through whom to bring about this phenomenon He went not to the proud, the mighty, the famous or the brilliant. He went instead to the humble, to the sick, to the unfortunate. He went right to the drunkard, the so-called weakling of the world. Well might He have said the following words to us:

"Unto your weak and feeble hands I have entrusted a power beyond estimate. To you has been given that which has been denied the most learned of your fellows. Not to scientists or statesmen, not to wives or mothers, not even to my priests or ministers have I given this gift of healing other alcoholics which I entrust to you."

"It must be used unselfishly; it carries with it grave responsibility. No day can be too long; no demands upon your time can be too urgent; no case can be too pitiful; no task too hard; no effort too great. It must be used with tolerance for I have restricted its application to no race, no creed, and no denomination. Personal criticism you must expect; lack of appreciation will be common; ridicule will be your lot; your motives will be misjudged. You must be prepared for adversity, for what men call adversity is the ladder you must use to ascend the rungs toward spiritual perfection, and remember, in the exercise of this power I shall not exact from you beyond your capabilities."

"You are not selected because of exceptional talents, and be careful always, if success attends your efforts not to ascribe to personal superiority that to which you can lay claim only by virtue of my gift. If I had wanted learned men to accomplish this mission, this power would have been entrusted to the physician and scientist. If I had wanted eloquent men, there would have been many anxious for the assignment, for talk is the easiest used of all talents with which I have endowed mankind. If I had wanted scholarly men, the world is filled with better qualified men than you who would be available. You were selected because you have been the outcasts of the world and your long experience as drunkards has made or should make you humbly alert to the cries of distress that come from the lonely hearts of alcoholics everywhere."

"Keep ever in mind the admission you made on the day of your profession in AA -- namely that you are powerless and that it was only with your willingness to turn your life and will unto my keeping that relief came to you."

Speaker Tape #5

2009-11-10T12:18:00.001-08:00

This past weekend, I found myself mountain-high in Crestline, CA for my Wednesday Night Men's Stag retreat. The theme of the weekend was working on our conscious contact with God as we understood him through prayer and meditation. In fewer words, step eleven. On Saturday night, we were treated to a talk by old timer Jim W. It was truly a delight and a fantastic weekend.

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=WJX61SZ5
Click the above link to download Jim's talk.
MP3 format, 45.1 MB, 49'10"

I don't think I came home a "spiritual giant," however I did come away from the retreat with much more than I had brought: spiritually, mentally, and even physically with our lovely hostess's fine cooking.

HIstoric Photo #1: Bill & Lois on a motorcycle

2009-11-09T08:25:00.000-08:00

Click the photo below to enlarge:

The Baltimore Prologue

2009-11-03T11:57:00.000-08:00

The Baltimore Prologue is derived from that of the Wilmington Group from Delaware. Specifically, a man named Shoes L. who got sober in 1944. He was asked to be a speaker, which he humbly accepted. Before the meeting, he wrote what was to become the Wilmington Prologue in his room at the Hotel Dupont.

Mickey M., who had asked Shoes to speak at the meeting, was a sportswriter. While in Baltimore doing coverage at the Pimlico Racetrack, he gave the Wilmington Prologue to a member of the Baltimore Group who adopted it for his group. What's most interesting and intriguing is that this prologue was in place before AA World Services came out with the shorter prologue we know today.

Here is the Baltimore Prologue, as it appeared in the 1940's:

Alcoholics Anonymous is a group of people for whom alcohol has become a major problem and who have banded together in a sincere effort to help themselves and other problem drinkers recover their health and maintain sobriety.

Definitions of alcoholics are many and varied. For Brevity we think of an alcoholic as one whose life has become un- manageable, to any degree, due to the use of alcohol.

We of Alcoholics Anonymous believe that the alcoholic is suffering from a disease for which no cure has yet been found. We profess no curative powers but have formulated a plan to arrest alcoholism.

The only requirement for A.A. membership is a desire to stop drinking.

There are no dues or fees in A.A.

Activities are supported by the voluntary contributions of the members.

Alcoholics Anonymous does not perform miracles, believing that such power rests only in God.

We adhere to no particular creed or religion. We do believe however that an appeal for help to one's own interpretation of a Higher Power or God, is indispensable to a satisfactory adjustment to life's problems.

Alcoholics Anonymous is not a prohibition or temperance movement in any sense of the word. Neither have we any criticism of the controlled drinker. We are concerned ONLY with the alcoholic.

From the vast experience of our many members, we have learned that successful membership demands total abstinence. Attempts at controlled drinking inevitably fail.

We attempt to follow a program of recovery which has for its chief objectives, sobriety for ourselves; help for other alcoholics that desire it; amends for past wrongs; humility; honesty; tolerance; and spiritual growth.

We welcome and appreciate the cooperation of the medical profession, the clergy and the public in general.

Speaker Tape #4

2009-11-03T08:49:00.000-08:00

Anthony H. of Hollywood, CA speaking in Florida, 1998. A great talk full of humor, experience, and solution...enjoy.

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=L2RWVME9
Click on the above link to download.
9.93 MB, 43'19"

Letter from Dr. Carl Jung to Bill W.

2009-11-01T20:21:00.000-08:00

Why we call it the Big Book

2009-10-29T11:30:00.000-07:00

Written By: Nancy O.

A printer in Cornwall, NY, named Edward Blackwell, had been highly recommended to Bill Wilson. Blackwell was the President of Cornwall Press. So Bill and Hank Parkhurst (author of the personal story "The Unbeliever" in the first edition of the Big Book) went to Cornwall to see Blackwell. There they were told that the book would probably be only about four hundred pages when printed. That seemed a bit skimpy. They wanted to sell the book for $3.50 per copy. That was a very large sum in those days, probably the equivalent of about $50 today, and people might not think they were getting their money's worth.

They picked the cheapest, thickest paper the printer had, and requested that each page be printed with unusually large margins surrounding the text. This made for an unusually large book. Thus, the book came to be nicknamed the "Big Book."

Blackwell had an excess of red material for the bindings, so he offered them a special deal. Eager to save costs, Bill and Hank agreed. They also thought, according to some reports, that the color red would make the book more attractive and marketable.

A New York AA member named Ray Campbell, a recognized artist, was asked to design the dust jacket. His story, "An Artist's Concept", appears in the Big Book's first edition. He submitted various designs for consideration including one which was blue and in an Art Deco style. The one which was chosen was red, and yellow, with a little black, and a little white. The words Alcoholics Anonymous were printed across the top in large white script. It became known as the "Circus" jacket because of its loud circus colors. The unused blue jacket is today in the Archives at the Stepping Stones Foundation.

The first printing was the only one on which a red binding and the red "Circus" dust jacket was used.

All the other printings of the first edition, except for the fourth printing, were in various shades of blue. The fourth printing, due to another overstock of binding material and thus, lower cost, was bound in blue as well as in green.

Bill Wilson, Hank Parkhurst, Dorothy Snyder (Clarence Snyder's Wife) and Ruth Hock, Bill's secretary, went to the little hamlet of Cornwall many times to oversee the printing and correct the galleys before the final galleys were approved as ready for printing.

Despite all their efforts at proofreading, there was a typographical error in the first printing. On page 234, the second and third line from the bottom was printed twice. This was corrected in the second printing.

Bill, and finally the Alcoholic Foundation, raised the necessary funds to cover the initial printing costs, as Ed Blackwell could not roll the presses until, and unless, they came up with at least enough money to cover the cost of the paper.

A run of four thousand seven hundred and thirty copies rolled off the press in April 1939. Two-hundred seventy-nine books were distributed without charge. In rare book auctions today in 2001, a first printing Big Book will command well in excess of $10,000. About 8 years ago a "virgin" first printing Big Book in the original sealed shipping box was bought at auction for well over $10,000, and the buyer did not even open the box to verify the book was inside, as it is more valuable in the sealed box. Members today continue to hope that more copies of first edition printings will be found and brought to light, instead of collecting dust in some attic or basement. First edition printing dates are given in "The First Edition Big Book Stories" at "Printing History of the First Edition"

List of drugs mentioned in the Big Book

2009-10-26T11:24:00.000-07:00

Always a topic of controversy, I have found that certain meetings allow a discussion of drugs, some meetings are adamantly against it, and other meetings are indifferent. I myself try to confine my talks to alcohol, unless absolutely necessary to mention the so-called "outside issues." Alcoholism, for me, took my life to alcohol and all kinds of drugs, mostly morphine, Oxycontin, oxymorphone, various sedatives, and cocaine.

After all, it is Alcoholics Anonymous and not Drugs Anonymous. But the speaker meetings I attend define sobriety as time free from alcohol and all other mood-altering chemicals. It gets confusing. So, I decided to consult the book and find any mention of drugs. Here is the list:

1. Sedatives (tranquilizers, goof balls, sleeping pills, solid alcohol)
2. Pep pills (Benzedrine)
3. Opiates (Demerol, morphine, codeine, Percodan)
4. Barbiturates (Pentothal)

The list is not comprehensive, just a few spots in the stories I knew drugs were mentioned. Whether you think drugs should never be discussed or you think people should be able to say what they want, I believe it's all the same. Whether I took shots of morphine or shots of whiskey, I lived in active alcoholism for ten long and miserable years. I know I have no desire to go back today.

What are your thoughts? Post a comment.

Newcomer Package

2009-10-23T20:55:00.000-07:00

Dr. Silkworth's letter to whom it may concern

2009-10-23T11:47:00.000-07:00

Here is a photocopy of Dr. Silkworth's letter which appears in "The Doctor's Opinion." Click to enlarge and read.

Video: Bill's Own Story

2009-10-19T09:52:00.000-07:00

Co-founder of Alcoholics Anonymous, Bill W.'s story can be found in the first chapter of the book Alcoholics Anonymous. Shot in the late 60's, this video shows Bill sharing his story alongside his wife Lois, who chimes in occasionally telling how she felt.

War fever ran high in the New England town to which we new, young officers from Plattsburg were assigned, and we were flattered when the first citizens took us to their homes, making us feel heroic. Here was love, applause, war; moments sublime with intervals hilarious. I was part of life at last, and in the midst of the excitement I discovered liquor. I forgot the strong warnings and the prejudices of my people concerning drink. In time we sailed "Over There." I was very lonely and again turned to alcohol.

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=NNAAADQ2
Click the above link to download in iPod MP4 format (72.7 MB, 55 minutes)
You will need the QuickTime player to watch the video. Get it for free from Apple.

Are you experienced?

2009-10-19T09:42:00.000-07:00

Speaker Tape #3

2009-10-17T09:38:00.000-07:00

Ebby T. used to drink with AA co-founder Bill W. It was Ebby who came to Bill while he was nursing himself with gin, and he explained that he had "got religion." While it took Bill a bit more time to finally get sober, the concept of one alcoholic talking to another was founded.

Ebby himself first got sober in the Oxford Group, before Alcoholics Anonymous existed. While Bill was in the hospital for the last time, Ebby led him through essentially what was to become steps 4-8. He had many slips throughout his life, but Bill always referred to him as his sponsor. When Ebby died in 1966, he was five years sober.

Here is one of his talks from a Memphis hotel room in 1958. Truly a piece of AA history.

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=FDGTN0O3
Click the above link to download, 11.68 MB (50'57")

Who is the Hampshire Grenadier?

2009-10-16T18:00:00.000-07:00

From Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th edition:

We landed in England. I visited Winchester Cathedral. Much moved, I wandered outside. My attention was caught by a doggerel on an old tombstone:

"Here lies a Hampshire Grenadier
Who caught his death
Drinking cold small beer.
A good soldier is ne'er forgot
Whether he dieth by musket
Or by pot."

Ominous warning, which I failed to heed.

Click above to enlarge the image.

While Bill didn't quote the tombstone verbatim, it is amazing how good his memory was after 25 years of drinking. Obviously, the quote comes from Chapter 1: Bill's Story. Upon first reading of the Hampshire Grenadier, I was quite confused. By pot? I didn't think it was possible to overdose on marijuana. Of course, I was wrong in so many ways.

However, it was explained to me by a long-sober man of great Book knowledge. "During the Black Death," he said, "the distilling process would purify the water, which started out very dirty and unsanitary. The head of the house, whose tombstone Bill read, drank the bottom of the barrel before the brew was done distilling. It expanded in his stomach, and he died from alcohol poisoning."

1944 Sponsorship Pamphlet

2009-10-16T09:23:00.002-07:00

"A.A. Sponsorship . . . Its Opportunities and Its Responsibilities."

PREFACE

Each member of Alcoholics Anonymous is a potential sponsor of a new member and should clearly recognize the obligations and duties of such responsibility.

The acceptance of an opportunity to take the A.A. plan to a sufferer of alcoholism entails very real and critically important responsibilities. Each member, undertaking the sponsorship of a fellow alcoholic, must remember that he is offering what is frequently the last chance of rehabilitation, sanity or maybe life itself.

Happiness, Health, Security, Sanity and Life of human beings are the things we hold in balance when we sponsor an alcoholic.

No member among us is wise enough to develop a sponsorship program that can be successfully applied in every case. In the following pages, however, we have outlined a suggested procedure, which supplemented by the member's own experience, has proven successful.

PERSONAL GAINS OF BEING A SPONSOR

No one reaps full benefit from any fellowship he is connected with unless he wholeheartedly engages in its important activities. The expansion of Alcoholics Anonymous to wider fields of greater benefit to more people results directly from the addition of new, worth-while members or associates.

Any A.A. who has not experienced the joys and satisfaction of helping another alcoholic regain his place in life has not yet fully realized the complete benefits of this fellowship. On the other hand, it must be clearly kept in mind that the only possible reason for bringing an alcoholic into A.A. is for that person's gain. Sponsorship should never be undertaken to -

1. Increase the size of the group.
2. For personal satisfaction and glory.
3. Because the sponsor feels it his duty to re-make the world.

Until an individual has assumed the responsibility of setting a shaking, helpless human being back on the path toward becoming a healthy useful, happy member of society, he has not enjoyed the complete thrill of being an A.A.

SOURCE OF NAMES

Most people have among their own friends and acquaintances someone who would benefit from our teachings. Others have names given to them by their church, by their doctor, by their employer, or by some other member, who cannot make a direct contact.

Because of the wide range of the A.A. activities, the names often come from unusual and unexpected places. These cases should be contacted as soon as all facts such as: marital status, domestic relations, financial status, drink habits, employment status and others readily obtainable are at hand.

IS THE PROSPECT A CANDIDATE?

Much time and effort can be saved by learning as soon as possible if -

1. The man* really has a drinking problem?
2. Does he know he has a problem?
3. Does he want to do something about his drinking?
4. Does he want help?

*The masculine form is used throughout for simplicity, although it is intended to include women as well.

Sometimes the answers to these questions cannot be made until the prospect has had some A.A. instruction, and an opportunity to think. Often we are given names, which upon investigation, show the prospect is in no sense an alcoholic, or is satisfied with his present plan of living. We should not hesitate to drop these names from our lists. Be sure, however, to let the man know where he can reach us at a later date.

WHO SHOULD BECOME MEMBERS?

A.A. is a fellowship of men and women bound together by their inability to use alcohol in any form sensibly, or with profit or pleasure. Obviously, any new members introduced should be the same kind of people, suffering from the same disease.

Most people can drink reasonably, but we are only interested in those who cannot. Party drinkers, social drinkers, celebrators, and others who continue to have more pleasure than pain from their drinking, are of no interest to us.

In some instances an individual might believe himself to be a social drinker when he definitely is an alcoholic. In many such cases more time must pass before that person is ready to accept our program. Rushing such a man before he is ready might ruin his chances of ever becoming a successful A.A.. Do not ever deny future help by pushing too hard in the beginning.

Some people, although definitely alcoholic, have no desire or ambition to better their way of living, and until they do........ A.A. has nothing to offer them.

Experience has shown that age, intelligence, education, background, or the amount of liquor drunk, has little, if any, bearing on whether or not the person is an alcoholic.

PRESENTING THE PLAN

In many cases a man's physical condition is such that he should be placed in a hospital, if at all possible. Many A.A. members believe hospitalization, with ample time for the prospect to think and plan his future, free from domestic and business worries, offers distinct advantage. In many cases the hospitalization period marks the beginning of a new life. Other members are equally confident that any man who desires to learn the A.A. plan for living can do it in his own home or while engaged in normal occupation. Thousands of cases are treated in each manner and have proved satisfactory.

SUGGESTED STEPS

The following paragraphs outline a suggested procedure for presenting the A.A. plan to the prospect, at home or in the hospital.

QUALIFY AS AN ALCOHOLIC

1. In calling upon a new prospect, it has been found best to qualify oneself as an ordinary person who has found happiness, contentment, and peace of mind through A.A. Immediately make it clear to the prospect that you are a person engaged in the routine business of earning a living. Tell him your only reason for believing yourself able to help him is because you yourself are an alcoholic and have had experiences and problems that might be similar to his.

TELL YOUR STORY

2. Many members have found it desirable to launch immediately into their personal drinking story, as a means of getting the confidence and whole-hearted co-operation of the prospect.

It is important in telling the story of your drinking life to tell it in a manner that will describe an alcoholic, rather than a series of humorous drunken parties. This will enable the man to get a clear picture of an alcoholic which should help him to more definitely decide whether he is an alcoholic.

INSPIRE CONFIDENCE IN A.A.

3. In many instances the prospect will have tried various means of controlling his drinking, including hobbies, church, changes of residence, change of associations, and various control plans. These will, of course, have been unsuccessful. Point out your series of unsuccessful efforts to control drinking...their absolute fruitless results and yet that you were able to stop drinking through application of A.A. principles. This will encourage the prospect to look forward with confidence to sobriety in A.A. in spite of the many past failures he might have had with other plans.

TALK ABOUT "PLUS" VALUES

4. Tell the prospect frankly that he can not quickly understand all the benefits that are coming to him through A.A.. Tell him of the happiness, peace of mind, health, and in many cases, material benefits which are possible through understanding and application of the A.A. way of life.

SHOW IMPORTANCE OF READING BOOK

5. Explain the necessity of reading and re-reading the A.A. book. Point out that this book gives a detailed description of the A.A. tools and the suggested methods of application of these tools to build a foundation of rehabilitation for living. This is a good time to emphasize the importance of the twelve steps and the four absolutes.

QUALITIES REQUIRED FOR SUCCESS IN A.A.

6. Convey to the prospect that the objectives of A.A. are to provide the ways and means for an alcoholic to regain his normal place in life. Desire, patience, faith, study and application are most important in determining each individual's plan of action in gaining full benefits of A.A.

INTRODUCE FAITH

7. Since the belief of a Power greater than oneself is the heart of the A.A. plan, and since this idea is very often difficult for a new man, the sponsor should attempt to introduce the beginnings of an understanding of this all-important feature.

Frequently this can be done by the sponsor relating his own difficulty in grasping a spiritual understanding and the methods he used to overcome his difficulties.

LISTEN TO HIS STORY

8. While talking to the newcomer, take time to listen and study his reactions in order that you can present your information in a more effective manner. Let him talk too. Remember...Easy Does It. TAKE TO SEVERAL MEETINGS*9. To give the new member a broad and complete picture of A.A., the sponsor should take him to various meetings within convenient distance of his home. Attending several meetings gives a new man a chance to select a group in which he will be most happy and comfortable, and it is extremely important to let the prospect make his own decision as to which group he will join. Impress upon him that he is always welcome at any meeting and can change his home group if he so wishes.

EXPLAIN A.A. TO PROSPECT'S FAMILY

10. A successful sponsor takes pains and makes any required effort to make certain that those people closest and with the greatest interest in their prospect (mother, father, wife, etc.) are fully informed of A.A., its principles and its objectives. The sponsor sees that these people are invited to meetings, and keeps them in touch with the current situation regarding the prospect at all times.

HELP PROSPECT ANTICIPATE HOSPITAL EXPERIENCE

11. A prospect will gain more benefit from a hospitalization period if the sponsor describes the experience and helps him anticipate it, paving the way for those members who will call on him.

CONSULT OLDER MEMBERS IN A.A.

These suggestions for sponsoring a new man in A.A. teachings are by no means complete. They are intended only for a framework and general guide. Each individual case is different and should be treated as such. Additional information for sponsoring a new man can be obtained from the experience of older men in the work. A co-sponsor, with an experienced and newer member working on a prospect, has proven very satisfactory. Before undertaking the responsibility of sponsoring, a member should make certain that he is able and prepared to give the time, effort, and thought such an obligation entails. It might be that he will want to select a co-sponsor to share the responsibility, or he might feel it necessary to ask another to assume the responsibility for the man he has located.

IF YOU ARE GOING TO BE A SPONSOR...BE A GOOD ONE!

Synder, Clarence. "A.A. Sponsorship . . . Its Opportunities and Its Responsibilities." General Service Office of Alcoholics Anonymous, 1944.

1946: Fred asks another AA what he has to do

2009-10-13T09:42:00.000-07:00

Download this video as MP4 (iPod format)

Dr. Bob's Prescription For Alcoholics

2009-10-10T13:55:00.000-07:00

Speaker Tape #2

2009-10-09T11:31:00.000-07:00

Today's speaker tape comes from the Monterey Bay Area Roundup of 1997. The speaker is none other than Dr. Paul, whose story "Acceptance Was The Answer" appears in the fourth edition of the Big Book. At one point, the story was titled as "Doctor, Alcoholic, Addict." Here's an excerpt from an interview he did with the AA Grapevine (Jully 1995):

Grapevine: Is there anything you regret having written in your story?

Dr Paul: Well I must say I’m really surprised at the number of people who
come up to me and ask me confidentially if what they’ve heard on the very
best authority – usually their sponsor – is true: that there are things in my
story I want to change, or that I regret having written it, or that I want to
take it out because it says so much about drugs, or that I’ve completely
changed my mind that AA is the answer or even that acceptance is the
answer. I’ve also heard – on the best authority! - that I’ve died or gotten
drunk or on pills. The latest one was that my wife Max had died and that I
got so depressed I got drunk. So, is there anything I’d like to change? No. I
believe what I said more now than when I wrote it.

Download it @ MEGAUPLOAD
Dr. Paul's talk at the Monterey Bay Area Roundup on August 29, 1997.

From The Archives: Why The Lord's Prayer?

2009-10-09T09:25:00.000-07:00

Ever since I came to the room of Alcoholics Anonymous, I've always wondered why some meetings close with the Lord's Prayer? After all, AA is a spiritual program, not religious...right? Well, I found a letter written in response to a question from Russ to Bill W. Here's the letter:

April 14, 1959
Dear Russ,

Am right sorry for my delay in answering. Lois and I were a long time out of the country and this was followed by an attack of the marathon type of flu that has been around here in New York. We are okay now, however, but I did want to explain my delay.

Now about the business of adding the Lord's Prayer to each A.A. meeting.

This practice probably came from the Oxford Groups who were influential in the early days of AA. You have probably noted in AA. Comes of Age what the connection of these people in AA. really was. I think saying the Lord's Prayer was a custom of theirs following the close of each meeting. Therefore it quite easily got shifted into a general custom among us.

Of course there will always be those who seem to be offended by the introduction of any prayer whatever into an ordinary AA. gathering. Also, it is sometimes complained that the Lord's Prayer is a Christian document. Nevertheless this Prayer is of such widespread use and recognition that the arguments of its Christian origin seems to be a little farfetched. It is also true that most AA's believe in some kind of God and that communication and strength is obtainable through His grace. Since this is the general consensus it seems only right that at least the Serenity Prayer and the Lord's Prayer be used in connection with our meetings. It does not seem necessary to defer to the feelings of our agnostic and atheist newcomers to the extent of completely hiding our light under a bushel.

However, around here, the leader of the meeting usually asks those to join him in the Lord's Prayer who feel that they would care to do so. The worst that happens to the objectors is that they have to listen to it. This is doubtless a salutary exercise in tolerance at their stage of progress.

So that's the sum of the Lord's Prayer business as I recall it. Your letter made me wonder in just what connection you raise the question.

Meanwhile, please know just how much Lois and I treasure the friendship of you both. May Providence let our paths presently cross one of these days.

Devotedly yours,
Bill Wilson

For me, "Thy will be done" is what I get out of the Lord's Prayer: reminding me that God's will be done, not my self-centered will. Hopefully this letter from Bill sheds some light. Have a great day!

Lyrical Dream For The Day

2009-10-06T13:12:00.000-07:00

GETTING TO KNOW MYSELF

I met myself in a dream
and I just wanna tell you
everything was alright
I’m beginning to see the light

Reed, Lou. “I’m Beginning To See The Light.”
The Velvet Underground. EMI Music, 1969.

When I began my journey on the road to recovery, I had no idea who I was. I knew I was a deeply depressed, morphine-addicted alcoholic but nothing beyond that. After some time in the program, the help of a loving and compassionate sponsor, and a spiritual awakening, I have become more acquainted with myself than I have my entire life. I am no longer depressed on a daily basis and dependent on drugs and alcohol, rather I am quite content with living sober. Each day free from active alcoholism is a chance to get to know myself a little more with the guiding light of my Higher Power.

I Am Not Original

2009-10-05T00:45:00.000-07:00

Rather, a mixdown of everything I have ever seen, heard, felt, touched, or smelt.

Speaker Tape #1

2009-10-03T17:24:00.000-07:00

When I am unable to get to a meeting, I am still able to hear experience, strength, and hope. This is especially helpful late at night, when there are no meetings and I have called everyone I can. Speaker tapes give me that solution I need to hear.

The first selection is from 1999, an old-timer named Lamar R. from Baltimore, MD. Listen to his talk from the Sunlight of the Spirit Conference in York, PA.

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=1YTRV2FX
Click above to download - 1:05:38 (15.04MB)

You can drag the file into your iTunes, put it on your iPod!
Note: it is tagged under the artist 'Alcoholics Anonymous'

Check out Silkworth.net

2009-10-03T16:39:00.000-07:00

Silkworth.net is a great resource to learn about the humble beginnings of what was to become Alcoholics Anonymous. Read about Bill & Bob's first meeting, the Oxford Group, and the derivation of the 12 steps. Silkworth.net features a timeline, writings, Grapevine articles, a Big Book study in mp3 format, and much more. Also has free downloads, a sobriety calculator, and links to related websites. Check it out!

http://silkworth.net

Joke #1

2009-10-03T16:32:00.000-07:00

"Are there any members of Alcoholics Anonymous who are deaf?"

"yes, 90% of people in AA can't hear a thing."